THE 19TH FLOOR
Hello loneliness
Come on in
You’ve just missed
Happiness
She ran out
Never said where
She was going
Are the lifts still out?
Did you pass her?
Was she running?
Her hair extensions
Flowing?
Two steps at a time
Avoiding the
River of piss
To make her escape
Out of this
Take a seat loneliness
My old friend
Squeeze yourself in
Between aniexty
And despair
Keep an eye
On panic
You think you’ve
Got him sussed
Until you feel
His hand on your
Throat applying
A gentle choke
Paranoia is in the
Bedroom
She’s staring
Into the mirror
To see if he
Can get her
Reflection to
Take some of
The blame
Insomnia’s staying over
She’s kept awake
By Grief
Crying out
All through
The fucking night
She needs her mum
I’d suggest that
We all go out
Imagine if we could make
It that far
Maybe we could
Reach the car
Drive down a
Country lane
Have just one beer
And back again
Come On
I’ll grab my coat
Let’s go!
Why do you all
Block the door?
Maybe not then
My dear friends
Come on let’s all calm down
Let's just quietly sit
And admire the view
From the 19th Floor
And forget about it
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:51
The subject is nervy and timely, sharply presented with drama and sympathy. I like the voice of reason trying to take charge, uselessly. You have a great feel for the development of mood, lassoing the feelings of your diverse readers with different details; what doesn't catch one will catch another.
This is very, very sharp in idea and execution. I find that even I sometimes presume that a poem is personal experience (which should be an absolute no-no!). But if you have provoked such a response, be pleased, because you must have written something really well. And hit hard.