Vaccary Walls
Vaccary Walls
Stone lines veining the landscape
Quarried slabs pulled from the earth
Placed upright making a stone fence
Enclosing green fields for Cattle and Sheep
Dividing bog and tussock
Residual hedge trees find purchase for roots
Alongside the rough stones
Where the valley gives way to peat hag and Bilberry
A Buzzard overhead begins a shallow upward spiral
High above the black walls
He is spotted and quickly mobbed by Crows
Soaring and then dropping slowly circling
Like water swirling round a hole
Moving off to the next valley
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 20th Jun 2015 15:14
I had to come back to this work because I really like it, and just ran out of time before. The subject is superb.
May I suggest culling unimportant words that construct 'prose-like sentences'. You have strong, evocative words here, setting clear images. I would give them full force, impelling your 'scene' forward.
Do you know what I mean?