watching what's trending
tickers ticking life away
brittle and pretending
pried off by news struck home today

shaky breaths, aerosolized and augmented
one more burner day, spending skeletons
losing memories, sentences segmented
just for another shot at the big score 
promised to yourself years ago
under the spreading, sky blue tent
of your alter ego. 

life is a study of how thin you can be spread
a red and pulpy paste, for taste 
over miles, painting this land
its proud patriotic shades, as waste
to try and suss out those glory days,
spent sheltered in hotel bath tubs
hard set in grooming and gory ways

endless moon and sun spin-dancers
blinkless psyche, stop motion pikey
observance of absurdity of the wherewithall
whowithall
howwithall
as that power comes and goes in thralls

and i always seem to be getting closer to the pulse
but always end up further away from the reason
why i'm just its malleable conduit
nothing more than one-night lovers
sinking anchors at pioneer depths
in my chest, relapsing and screaming
frozen, no relaxin no breathin
no breeders, no children
just me and my paralyzed connection
patching through and through
a deity I never knew
working miracles for the devil 
I've been letting out for level
tilling the fields of doubt to plant
this original vagrant sin.

fate, as fate would have
always contained within.
Life is more the choices you don't make
can't make
won't make
rather than the steps that you take.
any direction is all direction
but nothing is objectively nowhere
moving mountains for horizon
forever and ever
adventus avanti
amen