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yellow

summer is the dead time

all winter - when dripping rain
within the bounds of a pulled in coat
- I have dreamed of this

but now it comes
   and like birthdays
   it does not satisfy

the flowers lack the brightness of spring
and the long evenings
- well they just lack
and can't compare -
to the darkness of winter teatimes

but give it a month
and the august heat

give it the happy time of september

give it the frozen winter rain
- and the coat wrapped round -

for summer is the dead time

◄ nina simone

psalm 23 ►

Comments

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jeremy young

Wed 22nd Jul 2015 19:59

so am I

it is an issue of the style I am exploring - finding a way to free the language and at the same time drawing on it's etymological basis

and trying establish a grammatical format - through spacing word choice and the natural rhythms of speech - that is not immediately experimental - or unnecessarily surreal

hence my reference to the implied end-stopped enjamb - as one of the principle areas I have been working on is the notion of lines being statements/slogans

my apologies if my reply appeared flippant - was was not intended that way

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 22nd Jul 2015 19:10

Actually, I was serious.

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jeremy young

Tue 21st Jul 2015 19:44

I see what you mean - the problems of the implied end-stopped enjamb....

*seeks metaphysical explanation for an inherent problem of style*

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 21st Jul 2015 16:02

Your ideas are captivating, and then your evocative images do them full justice.

Are you 'dripping rain within the bounds of your pulled-in coat?' Or do you actually mean something different? It's the 'when' that is puzzling. Or maybe a hyphen again after 'rain' - maybe that's it.

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