My hands reached out, splayed and up towards the sky.

Who would have though, I would be left here to die?

I took a giant leap, and so big it was,

I was left falling to the grass.

Mud, dirt, stones, I tasted everywhere.

My dignity, pride and beauty left me bare. 

Burning with rage and anger,

I beat myself to a blunder.

It was all on me, just me, only me.

The choice I made, the regrets I have, I will let them be.

But the past hugs me like a ghost, 

it follows me, threatens me, and I am hopelessly lost.

No more! I tell myself. Just no more.

But I continue to cry on like before.

I look in the mirror, and I laugh.

How could I have ever fallen for that bluff?

Pathetic.

Weak.

Hopeless.

Innocent.

Delusional.

Where was my strength? Where was the assertion?

My heart cries. Every time I see his face, I am reminded. That stupid decision.

I laugh at myself. 

Stupid girl. What about your father? Your mother?

Your sister and friends?

Stupid, stupid, girl.

Nothing left to do but laugh.