Restless spirit

(to a memory of being 21)

Something's not right. Something's not bright.

Something's got no light -only darkness.

I'm not happy, but then I am.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Up and down, up and down.

Maybe it stems from birth?

Or maybe my mind is just a mess.

(Funny how at 45 I will address this) 

I have a problem; it's a lack of soul,

not being able to just get up and go - you know.

Wondrous thoughts yet silly ideas,

then there's my lack of strength, hunger and fears,

all drained from problems over the years.

Am I just a restless spirit?

Listen closer. Can you hear it?

Caught in the middle with no sound plan,

deal out my tarot and read my hand.

Drinking, smoking, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll,

don't provide no answers, no key to the promised land.

I'll swim the wild seas. Maybe travel.

(I did from age 30)

Am I just a restless spirit?

One that you'll maybe inherit, dear son (when I'm 37).

Not liking my choice of job, then I do.

(nothing's changed there, although now I have a career at least).

Sick of being a slave. I don't need to be tamed.  (Not ever).

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NB: Brackets are updates to see it adds effect.