I begged them for help but they turned me away,

I tried by myself but what could I say,

I failed and I started a new nightmare,

It felt like the only thing that was there.

It started off with what the Dr's gave,

My life was in danger, I was trying to save,

I knew my own risk that they couldn't see,

If I didn't act fast I knew where i'd be!

I begged the Dr's time and again,

Each time their answer would be the same,

I knew that soon it would be too late,

I seen no option but to "self-medicate"

The months went by it was always the same,

Take another pill to escape the pain,

Take another tablet when I felt unsafe,

Struggling to function or even think straight.

"Tolerance" it seems it crept on in,

So scared of what I would do to my skin,

No other option but increase the dose,

Another secret that nobody knows.

Another secret I had to hide,

So much hidden, so deep inside,

The illness I have, this illness I curse,

My Self-Medication made everything worse.

Caught in a cycle I knew it must stop,

Enough was enough and I knew I must not,

Continue this madness but I didn't see,

Addiction had crept in and took hold of me.

In horror I realised just what i'd done,

Knowing that this time I couldn't run,

Knowing I had to be honest and true,

It was the only way that I would pull through.

I won't say it's easy and I had to fight,

I kept the finish line in my sight,

So strong were my feelings to hurt and destroy,

Not sure how I'd ever again feel the  joy.

Not sure how I'd cope without that pill,

I vowed then and there that somehow I will,

I realised the answers didn't lie there,

They lay within me and I had to go there.

This chapter is done and I turned the page,

So trapped but I escaped from that cage,

Lessons I learned and the answer I found,

I survived addiction but I almost drowned.