In another world,

walking is bad for your feet.

And amphetamines help you to sleep.

In another world,

eating is bad for your guts.

Whilst T.V. is therapy for nuts.

In another world,

it's bad for your teeth to be white -

You work every Saturday night.

In another world,

vitamin C causes cancer.

And John Major was a ballet dancer.

In another world,

Lionel Blair is actually prime minister.

And Disney’s Bambi is incredibly sinister.

In another world,

Jesus was the devil.

And Egypt’s great wonders were all built unlevel.

In another world,

Cigarettes are made from bracken.

And Doctors are alcohol fused and are seriously lacking.

In another world,

cars are built from plastic.

Whilst Premiership football teams are drastic.

In another world,

odd socks are sold on Sundays.

And everyone's happy on Mondays.