Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

This is the modern world ...

I open my front door, straight into climate change and the dull M1 roar – all hours.

I go to the school as a teacher, only to drain creativity and imagination out of the kids,

With constant assessment and onlyone focus on grades.

GCSE’s are only league tables’ kids. 

 

I pass by people, finger fucking their apps and friends with smart phone dementia.

Press ‘like’ , press ‘share’ , tweet a sandwich just eaten - who fucking cares?

 

I pass by charity shops swelling in ranks, superstores bullying shops around, poundland bargain empires made by poor Chinese kids and a Costa or a Greggs.

What has happened to the high street?

 

I try to smile through the day, but then the news just sticks in the boot and kicks that all away.

TERROR!  GLOOM!  MADNESS! STRIFE!

 

I hide in my bed on a day off, as 70mph storms batter the windows. 

Where is the frost and snow of so long ago?

 

I turn off the googlebox that I pay ridiculous tariffs for,

Blank the screen of fake plastic people, pretend celebrities and sociopath wannabe’s.

I don’t judge the dancers so strictly as some, or give a flying fuck about factor – X,

Nor watch the latest sci-fi, crime, hospital drama, all so dead in story but full of FX.

 

It seems that everything is going so fast,

Yet wilting away – so sad.

 

Sirens sound outside again – always an ambulance screaming by, or police helicopter above,

Cutting its propellers through the perpetual rain.

 

The birds don’t visit the table, where I have so lovingly placed their food,

Perhaps they have all migrated or are hiding undercover from the earth’s angry roar!

 

I pull hard on my ecig - the new nicotine high, which is only prolonging addiction.

How many times have I spied, the throngs of people in pubs, lip sucking and punctured with ecig frowns and chesty coughs?

 

Black Friday aisles already covered in rust, while our leaders prepare to bomb Syria, because WE MUST!

I wait for aeons to see the NHS and buy my goods online.

 

Someone once told me, that the future, would be bright. 

What a load of shite!

◄ Bluff amongst the olives (For Ted Hughes and J.R.Hartley)

ABSCESS (1996) ►

Comments

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 1st Dec 2015 18:03

David - I often try to avoid using 'I' because it stands out at the start of a line especially when not using capital letters, which I often don't do either. Just personal preferences at the end of the day. I always think about the way a poem looks on the page. It would be interesting to see this one stripped down a bit - as you say, kick out a few words. I often do that too after a first draft - see how much can be lost - leave just the important words. Sometimes it works and other times I think I end up adding more. I am always happy to go back and change my work - add or take away words - move things around a little. Some people hate to do this but I like to look after my poems and let them grow with time - evolve and adapt - take on new meanings. The whole first person thing got me thinking about my own poems on here and having checked them out I noticed quite a few 'I's. So maybe I'm contradicting myself, who knows! Good luck!

Profile image

DavidAddington

Tue 1st Dec 2015 16:13

Thanks for the great comments lads Yes I particularly love that line too. Them words of "finger fucking your smartphone" have been with me all year and I was just looking for a place to use them. I tried a song lyric first, but a poem is better. Yes, the title is influenced by the Jam a lot, as I really like Weller's wit and attack on the system back in the 70's. It's a sort of homage to that song and then a continuation of how life has become so shallow. Writing in some way is observation and that is what this is. It's a first draft though as I think I could kick out some words - less is more and perhaps remove the 'I' from it too. I have tried to avoid using first person in my poems, but at times it just feels natural and a lot of new poetry am checking out by others, do tend to lean towards autobiographical. I suppose culturally it is a spin off of the 'me' and 'want it now' culture we now live in.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 1st Dec 2015 08:12

yep - love it or loath it there's no escape!

I'm with Graham - that whole line is ace.

This is the modern world...The Jam 1977 ?

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Mon 30th Nov 2015 15:57

I love the smartphone dementia!

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message