After nearly a year trying, I moved house

The house was tired

It had dated

It had lost the sense of who it was

It had lost all its character

Too much time with someone not attending to its needs

And it, tired and unloved as it was,

Didn't provide much of a home

Frustrated by its loss of self

 

I started by pulling down the ceiling

Get the structure right first

Dust and debris fell, 

I wore a mask to keep from breathing it all in

The dust toxic with a touch of asbestos 

I wrapped it up in the carpet that smelled of an old mans dog and threw it out

 

This weekend I knocked down a wall. 

There were sledgehammers, crowbars, chisels, saws, hammers, electricity, falling timber and plaster, screws and nails. 

I didn't even get a scratch on me.

Tonight I picked up a cardboard box and got a paper cut and it hurt like hell.

Sod's law!

 

Breaking down all the bad parts of the house nearly broke me

Pulling out the guts of it

Taking away all the unloved furnishings 

The trappings that were there to make it a home but actually just held it back

Searching for the hidden character underneath

Everything was dirty - a building site

 

Looking at the beams

Wondering "would they hold?"

I needed a break

 

Eventually it changed

It started with the fireplace

I smashed through all the fake brickwork 

Stripped the plaster

Needle gunned the paint

And there was the character

Beautiful, strong stone mullions

Aged and flawed but beautiful

 

I pulled up carpets and sanded floorboards

Changed the bathroom for one more in keeping 

Painted, varnished, wallpapered

Added in all the things that I loved

The good memories

The hobbies

My artwork

My children's photos and toys

Filling the house with fun

 

I took things that were broken and made them new

Changed their form

A garage door to a bed

A smelly sofa to a garden bench

Made the broken new and beautiful

Seeing them in a new light

Making amends with the past

 

Talked to the kids tonight about me dating. They were really interested and happy about it. Told them I don't want to date at the moment and Tom and Hazel both said "well, when you get your house finished Dad, girls will like that" They're so sweet. I properly love my kids

 

Just before Christmas, I got the carpet and the laminate down.

When the kids saw the house all done up they said this...

Hazel... I love our new house!

Tom... It's the best house in the world!

Jake... I think the reason it feels like home is because of all the work you've put into it Dad.

 

We're home now