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This is a sestina comma discuss

I

When all’s fast, unforgiving, banana

my eyes are dry and rattling aubergine

in bony orbits asking:  tomato,

give us sleep! Give my head peace! Cucumber

but, sure, you’re a long time dead, raspberry,

and not a long time living pineapple

 

II

We acknowledged each other pineapple

there was a sort of kiss of hands banana

we ourselves may not have kissed raspberry

but our hands twined together aubergine

we gave our affirmations cucumber

the one affirmed the other tomato

 

III

Your way, our way – all that stuff tomato –

and any way you want me raspberry

I could be your hidden love cucumber

that you daren’t say. And, anyway, banana,

you want me – just as a friend... aubergine

maybe... maybe that’s enough raspberry

 

IV

And anyway you want me raspberry

and maybe that’s enough; that’s tomato

(maybe) good as this stuff gets aubergine

better than reality pineapple

cold mattress reality banana

old age cold love and stewed tea cucumber

 

 V

Old aged love stewed and cold tea cucumber

not the life I’d wish on you raspberry

all’s fast and unforgiving when banana

you’re young and life’s for living tomato

no cold stewed tea for you. love pineapple –

I wouldn’t wish it on me! Aubergine

 

VI

It’s just... middle class reserve aubergine

Just... not cut out for loving cucumber

I’m not built for being loved pineapple

Not awfully good at coping raspberry

And you should aim for better tomato

And good luck – you deserve it banana

 

tercet

One day, banana, we will aubergine

look back tomato and think cucumber

what fuss! Raspberry erm... quite.  Pineapple.

◄ Some days, I am comforted by quietly despairing

Opening ►

Comments

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DG

Mon 10th Aug 2009 23:48

Thanks all

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Chris Dawson

Tue 28th Jul 2009 19:27

Excellent poem, Dermot - though for the first time ever - I think I've been over-faced by my 5-a-day.
In the end, you know, friends last longer, and are often a great deal truer, than lovers - and definitely last longer than aubergines.
Cx

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DG

Tue 28th Jul 2009 18:11

Thanks Anthony, and I'm glad you got the reference.

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Anthony Emmerson

Tue 28th Jul 2009 11:14

Hi Dermot,

Classical poetic form meets "The Fast Show."
Higson and Whitehouse would be proud of you! Nice one.
Regards,
A.E.

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