Court shoes on, navy blue
Polished to perfection,
No other colour shoe will do
They're subject to inspection.

Hair pristine, smiley doors
Clipboard held up high,
Ready for the airport wars
All reps standing by.

First arrivals jostle through
"Are you my rep" they say
I am indeed, how do you do
Let's start your holiday.

On the coach, grumpy faces
Another long delay
Airline losing several cases
Ooh what a lovely day!

Transfers done, no time to rest
Prepare for formal greetings
It's time to make some Euros
On a day of welcome meetings.

Island Tour? Rep's Cabaret?
Good value for your money
These trips will make your holiday
Our rep's show's really funny.

At last, a day off to relax
I'll hit the beach for rest
No chance when you share the sands
With all your drunken guests.

"Are you the Manos rep" they say
"Well I've got a complaint"
"You weren't at duties yesterday"
"Well impressed, we ain't.

They save their money for a year
To travel far and wide
Then spend it all on fags and beer
And spend each day pie-eyed.

At last departure day arrives
I wave them off with glee
Only the fittest reps survive
A summer by the sea.