Up in the morning

creaking and yawning

hungover and feeling

half dead.

I lurch down the stairs

full of worries and cares

and so fat I could

only lumber.

A quick cup of tea

then off for a pee,

but then stay

for a little bit extra

A good kilo lighter

So fit, and much brighter,

I bound from the bog

full of fun.

Wine is a pleasure

and food is still better,

but a jolly good shit

is a joy.

A bonk with a bounce

unloads less than an ounce,

but a jolly good shit

is divine.