My heart over powers my head lately

Must be linked to my stomach

I'm always feeling sick

Things changed

My person has opened up

I've been shut down for so long

I require drastic change

Shame is what I'm swimming in

I don’t feel guilty I just hate

Knowing how you are going to look at me

I never know what you think

I feel like you will just settle with me

Instead of punishing me 

and open your eyes to see

I don’t want to go that far

I just want you to understand

Why this part of my life means so much

The pain is excruciating

Do you remember

 how I sat in my own sadness

This will pass for you

And now maybe for me to.

I cant do this to us anymore

I cant lose what's made me happy

I'll drag  you down with me

I'm not going down without a fight

There will be things I will do out of spite.

If I settle for what had put me here

This time you will have a little taste.

If I'm going to be miserable again

Ill show you how the weak work

We both will stand 

with our spines in our hands

I'm no longer going alone 

down this worn down path

If you want it this way

We will make another home

To crumble then to sweep

our same problems underneath

You know you don’t deserve this

But you are throwing me back

To the deep black water

And I'm so tired of paddling.

a taste of my world You will receive.

Let me remind you of the years I was never seen.

Let me show you what's truly lonely.

Prepare for the long darkness

Prepare for the nights of being lost

Prepare for the pain your heart reaps

I've lived this already

Its your turn to do the carrying.

I'm not doing this again for free

The tears shed will now be

Drenching your side of the bed.

Lets see how fast you become

Lifeless.