How do I get here?

I go backward every morning, looking for an answer.

Love, they might say? would be nice if that's true.

Hate instead? Too reasonable I must say,

That type of feeling that nothing has to do with nihilism and depression,

The type of emotion that deals with anger, 

The anger of not to be in the right place and moment.

Could be that maybe I born too soon? Or maybe too late?

Is this for someone out there? Could be, but just superficially, 

As the days goes by, I realise that is just me, acting selfish and childish

Forcing myself to reflect every feeling in a wrong way. 

Only white noise remians inside my head.

I hope I can sync someday with the rest of my head, and maybe enjoy my life again....