The world was better without Miss Prune.

All who met her despised her soon.

She ate slugs for breakfast

and more for tea

then sicked on the table disgustingly.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

horrible, horrible, Ermintrude Prune.

She painted her kitten

in luminous red

then chased it all over

her grandmother's bed.

Poor kitty was startled,

but what was still worse

her granny leapt up

and in nighties she fled.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

terrible, terrible, Ermintrude Prune.

All through the village

gran glowed at high speed.

Split from her wits

by Ermintrude's deed.

The kitten pursued her

as bright as poor gran

no one could tell

where their journey would lead.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

horrible, horrible, Ermintrude Prune.

While granny and kitty

demented ran on,

Ermintrude cared not a bit

they were gone.

She gobbled down snails

and plates full of toads,

'til sluggish she toadied

and slithered along.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

terrible, terrible, Ermintrude Prune.

Affrighted and shining,

they burst in the church.

Grandma and kitty

caused vicar to lurch.

He fell from the belfry

right into the road

and a passing pantechnicon

hit a tall birch.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

horrible, horrible, Ermintrude Prune.

The great tree fell over

and crashed to the earth.

Fat Ermintrude slthered

for all she was worth.

She flicked out her tongue

at a poor passing slug,

as a branch compressed

her incredible girth.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

terrible, terrible, Ermintrude Prune.

With terrible burst

the Prune expired,

and squidgety things

new air respired.

Slugs and other noxious beasts

danced in circles lustily.

The slimy things laughed

'til they all perspired.

Ermintrude Prune, Ermintrude Prune

horrible, horrible, Ermintrude Prune.