Desperation drives me to distraction.
How I crave the sweet embrace
that caresses me to sleep.
My wonderland, my sweet utopia,
lost at sea and out of reach.

Misery arrives as happiness abandons
and my frustrations get the better.

I subside, slip away,
fall back into myself,
disassociate,
alleviate the ache.

For nobody,
can save me from the pain
inside my brain,
my morbid hate,
the despair I face
throughout the long hours,
dusk till dawn,
dawn through dusk.

All I do is wait,
crawling around in my affliction,
this saturated pit of morbid addiction,
crying out to the moon each night,
begging for my oblivion,
silver beams of light,
deliverance.

I hold the body still,
without choice,
until nothing
but the hollow void
enters my soul
and I am free,
beyond hope.

“You’ll be ok”
is what they say
and that I know
inside my soul
but that does nothing
to fill the vacant hole
where my heart should be,
where my soul expires.

The light dims a little more
each time I slide
into the obscure backrooms
of my mind
where the sky is always falling in,
clouds black and bold
but the ground refuses to open up
and swallow me whole.

I am not whole,
misery owns my soul.
I cannot complete me.
I only defeat me.

©JMCole