Just been to see the movie and man it was so cool

I should have stayed put and given Hollywood a shot

I could have made it big I have been such a fool

In the decade of the eighties on a mission I hit the road

Three months of travel and adventure in the USA

Cheap motels and YMCA’s were my humble abode

Eventually I arrived in the metropolis they call LA

Checked into a seedy downtown joint for 24 hours

Then headed up to tinsel town what more can I say

Now most of this story as far as I can remember is true

Looking back through rose tinted eyes what a spectacle

Bear in mind I was roaming freely around a human zoo

 

Booked myself a room at the north Hollywood YMCA

Spent my time on the streets and hanging out in bars

Sunset Boulevard was my playground by night and day

Hooked up with a couple of feisty New York chicks

Who just swooned and loved my eloquent English accent

Every now and then they would turn some naughty tricks

A brit staying on site said I could get into movies surprise

There were a lot of opportunities to be in crowd scenes

He said the producer has a big thing for English guys

I went and turned down this golden opportunity it’s true

Much to the alarm of my enthusiastic aide who said

“Hey man this is Hollywood you do what you got to do”

 

On my birthday visited a bar called Tom’s on Sunset & Vine

The bartender she stood me a drink and talked at length

About the size of her boyfriend’s huge dick how divine

At a club on Melrose met an actress with whom to hitch

Didn’t have a name she told me to address her as C.C. Grant

Next time I saw her a dude was screaming calling her a bitch

Met some Vietnam veterans who had sunken eyes of war

Took a calculated gamble on a late night game of poker

When talk turned to Russian roulette I headed for the door

The time had come for me to leave quietly without a sound

That’s the end of my brief encounter with LA LA Land

I often wonder where I would be now if I had stuck around