You’re a risk and a danger, the Christian chaplain did say,

‘Fuck you’ I thought, but didn’t speak, it was just one of those days.

I went back to my employment, inside the prison kitchen,

Going over and over it in my head, my attitude was bitching.

 

I found release, back in the cell, when work was all closed up,

I filled the flask for a hot cuppa, to the brim I filled the cup.

I asked God for a reprieve, from this fucked up thinking,

I prayed for my mind to clear, to stop me from stinkin thinkin.

 

He did as I had asked him, it’s so simple I nearly missed it,

God doesn’t treat me like an animal, a retard or a misfit.

He tells me I am a child of his, and that I’m dearly loved,

When things get tight, to call on him for assistance from above.

 

Don’t listen to the messages, that make you feel like crap,

Humble your ego and listen to me, and the nonsense, it will stop.

Take it a day at a time, and don’t be looking back,

For there ain’t anything that you can do, you’ll just heavy whack.

 

Just deal with today an hour at a time, or a minute if that’s what it takes,

Over time you’ll grow in confidence, then it’s time to raise the stakes.

Take captive that first thought to mind, and hand it straight to Jesus,

He’s not here to condemn but love, neither here to please us.

 

As I sit on the train on the way to my meeting, I relax and calm my thoughts.

I read from Hollies poetry book, I can plainly join the dots.

I look forward to a laugh tonight, as I listen to the chair,

Identification and sobriety, is awaiting me up those stairs.

 

I can’t mention names in this poem, incase I break the traditions,

But whoever is there I know will show, me love in all conditions.

Kepp coming back, i a favourite one, of my sister who is long sober,

A few people share around the room, before you know it, it’s all over.

 

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things,

That I can change and give me strength, for what tomorrow brings.

For without you I am hopeless, as hopeless as one can be,

Thank heavens that you found me Lord, for here I would not be.

 

Seamas MacFhearchair          

12-3-17