She let out a muffled cry as she closed the door of her room. She sank her back into the wall as she let herself drift her way to the floor like a plastic bag floating in the air. She couldn’t take it anymore but she knew she couldn’t leave. She was all he had. She was his first real love. Everyone he has had in his grasp before she came along didn’t create the adoration he had for her. That’s because she was his first daughter. He didn’t know how to love until he held her next to her mother in the chair next to the hospital bed. The mother -he couldn’t even bare to stand her and he’d never thought he’d be able to love anything she’s done but his daughter had a piece of each of them and he loved her fully. He may have loved her too much. Her mother left which he knew would be the best thing for them both. As the years went on he confused caring with a knife. He was brutally honest with her, him  thinking he was making life easier for her but instead he terrified her. He made her know that her dark skin color wasn’t a classification of race but a character trait she’d be labeled with for the rest of her life. Because he couldn’t find love, he made sure she knew sex wasn’t out of feelings but nature and the words ‘I love you’ are equivalent to 'goodbye’. He confused punishments with his belt and welcomed her to pain rather than a lesson. She’s 17 now. She’s so scared of the world and what is has to offer. She knows there has to be more than what she became accustomed to, but how is she suppose to leave the only man that’s ever kept it real with her from the start? She was at a loss.

- esh