My eyes blink

tears stroll down my cheek

My head explodes

Thoughts everywhere

My heart aches

Yearning for a better relationship

Heart rate rises

Breathing loudly

Control. Control. I need control.

He’s yelling louder

My eyes are piercing

Memories of the last time he did this come afloat

Hitting and shoving

Now I’m running

I can’t stand him

Eyes everywhere

Looking for peace

Welcomed by locked doors

Aching ribs

Bruised wrists

Why do I put myself through this?

He’s coming back

I start to laugh

Wondering why I came home

Cussing and spitting

He’s never quitting

Shouts get louder

The room gets smaller

He gets bigger

Don’t. Make. Eye. Contact.

Harsh words spewing

Vomit rising

Tummy turns

I need to breathe

He gets tired

He’s leaves my room

I look around and I just see darkness

I’ve never been so thrilled to see darkness.

- esh