he has a sleeping disease
he wakes next to me
and touches me
i'm here i say
don't worry
sleep
Note: No profile exists for this entry - most likely it was deleted.
Comments
Hi Emily.... I am with Steve (M) and Cynthis.I am with Michael but definately not Steve (B).With Maipenrai but Alvin's a distraction. When it comes to Graham I couldn't agree more. Win x
The best poetry says most in the least words. Charming work but Im afraid the title spoilt it a little. Well done Emily.
<Deleted User> (6534)
Sun 27th Sep 2009 21:01
If you have a sleepy but badly behaved dog
he wakes next to me
and touches me
i'm here i say
don't worry
sheep
<Deleted User> (6484)
Sun 27th Sep 2009 20:37
liked this Emily.
Bernie
<Deleted User> (6560)
Sun 27th Sep 2009 15:16
A little perfection.. I too love 'pared-down' poems that really work, like this.. American anthologies would love it too.
Michael
A heart-toucher, Emily. We, the readers, will supply our own appropriate pronouns.
steve mellor
Sun 27th Sep 2009 12:38
Hi Emily
I'm not a great commentator, but I love 'simple' poems such as this. It says bucket loads about caring in such a short space.
It reminded me (in some ways) of a poem by Langston Hughes - 'Dream'. Have a look if you get the chance.
Steve M.
If you wish to post a comment you must login.
Isobel
Tue 29th Sep 2009 21:13
I regret to say I am with Alvin on this one. Only occasionally does short and simple do it for me. This isn't strong enough to pull it off.