What's The Point?
So what’s the point of all of this?
All the hustle and bustle
All the hit and miss
What’s the point of all the talking?
All the walking, all the waiting?
We struggle and toil
Our tempers bubble and boil
Nerves are frayed
And enemies are made
Of those we used to call friends
So I ask, what’s the point of it all?
Filling our short lives
With hassle and hurry
Cramming into every second
Everything we can
Our minds
Our hands
Our hearts
All in a flurry
A twitch of motion
We build the commotion
And for what?
My life is in a mess
But I’m just like all the rest
Just another hungry magpie
On the hunt for something shiny.
Or maybe a dog
Fighting over scraps I’m tossed.
Steven Kenny
Sun 4th Oct 2009 23:05
Hi Neil!
Thanks for your comments! There's never a right way to give feedback to someone else so if you disagree with anything I say, that's cool cause what do I know anyway!? :-)
ok, with the disclaimer out of the way, I did like the poem you posted. I did think the last stanza was a bit clunky and didn't, for me at least, fit well with the rest of the work. Overall though, it was good and I can see the similarities between our two poems, which is what you were getting at, right? :-)
I'm cheery too but you wouldn't know it from my work! I just find angsty stuff easier to write! It's the teen/emo in me I think!