i am alone, and as i drown they mock my pain
they drop stones in my satchel
they slash my open wounds to watch me bleed
they throw knives at my face hoping i'll break

and yet i dont
i smile and i move through life and sometimes i cry but yet i dont
i sit home (alone) and scream but my voice echoes
my voice seeps through the cracks in the window and through the empty halls
and once again i know i am alone

they try to reach out to me as robots, with robot arms
and robot hearts, because they don't really care
because i'm happy. they don't care because this is just a phase, because i'm happy
and yet they take my happiness and run, slowly submerging me under the cool water,
slowly turning my veins to ice

they love me though. they love watching me slam my head on the metal bars of my prison cell
they love watching me as an animal at the zoo, something to point at and imitate
sometimes they abuse me, and they fill up my emptiness with insults
i am a glass vase, waiting to be plunged into the ice water of hatred and brokenness

they want me to break, i know they do. 
and yet i keep on living. i smile, and i kiss, and i (try to) love, and i do my work
i do what im meant to, although i dont know what that is anymore
i picture the dew on the grass and the sunset on the hill and the cadence of a butterfly's wings
but then the butterfly dies and the sun is gone,

and i am alone. my god i am alone
the knives still tearing my face and the stones still around my shoulders and my body under the surface
i am alone, and yet i am not. i have acquaintances.
who, you ask? my tears and my voice gone from the panic attacks
my confidence withering like a dying bouquet and my happiness dwindling like the end of a spear
those are my friends. the only things i can make sure will always be there,

because, as a matter of fact, they will always be there. 

my god, i am alone.