How can I love someone who I barely understand?

I sometimes find myself searching in the mirror,

For something that I recognize, something familiar.

I am not lacking confidence; I am lacking self-awareness.

At a point in time when I am figuring out my life, I cannot seem to figure out myself.

Each day I begin with a new mindset, each night a different prayer.

I thrive and I accomplish goals, but I cannot remember what day it was when these goals were designed.

Who was I then, am I still her now?

I can feel the parts of me coming together, yet I do not see how they will become whole.

There is beauty in this madness of learning to love yourself,

There is passion in the search for a life worth living.

Yet as I seek a life, I am living one.

As I search for myself, I am existing.

Waves of indifference following waves of autonomy.

They tell you to love yourself first,

But they do not tell you that that is the hardest task of them all.