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Raking up the past

Dew bejewelled spider webs span the handle

of the broken wooden fork

propped in the dirt like a cross for the fallen.

Khaki leaves scatter the garden but the bright Acer

still wears its scarlet uniform.

The shrill of a panicking blackbird’s pinking

pierces the steady scrunch of leaves decaying

while the slowly scouring scrape

of my rake across the sticky wet ground

disturbs the softly sweet scent

of those same dying leaves.

The rough wooden handle of my rake shakes

as I drag the tines across the ground

trying to tidy the fallen and to

order the unruly parade of grubby gravel

from which a few bold soldiers

jump for freedom into my deck shoes.

The taste of those relentlessly fading leaves

sits fatly on my tongue

like all the words I never spoke,

while the pebbles in my shoes

remind me to walk on the ghosts

of summer with care.

🌷(4)

◄ Being

Beatification and snacks ►

Comments

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David Taylor-Jones

Sat 10th Feb 2018 23:03

Thanks for your comments John, it really helps to have some thoughtful feedback. David

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john short

Sat 10th Feb 2018 14:54

This poem has an excellent elemental vividness that takes the reader right into the experience and I like the central idea of raking up the past which suggests more than one level of meaning. If it was my poem I'd probably leave line 6 as "The shrill of a panicking blackbird" just to avoid a build-up of gerunds but that's just my opinion. There are probably quite a few magazines on the circuit that would love this, it's the kind of poetry that goes down well.

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David Taylor-Jones

Sun 5th Nov 2017 10:09

Thanks Keith and thanks Colin, your feedback is much appreciated ?

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 5th Nov 2017 08:58

how did I miss this beauty. totally wow and awesome. I hope my comment draws more readers back to it. glad I found it. cheers. col.

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keith jeffries

Sat 4th Nov 2017 21:01

David, this is very good especially the imagery in the first three lines which are superb. Thank you. Keith

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