Everything hurts
I can't look up 
I can't look down
I am stuck inside

I am stuck behind my walls 
Closed off
Safe
I am otherness
never able to fully join in 

I know you won't love me 
So I will never let you even try
I will speak for you
I will act everything out for you
So that you can't really see me 

I am sorry what did you say?
I was busy isolating myself 
I was busy berating myself 
I was busy hating myself 

This darkness is cold 
This darkness is thick 
This darkness hurts 

I am waiting till I can't anymore 
I am waiting till I give up 
I am waiting to end this 
I am waiting in this darkness