Phoenix
From the heat
Of hells darkness
Wrought by the hand of man
comes the strength
to conceive the crucible
As The phoenix burns
for resurrection
To the glory
of dead men’s
insurrections
Comments
Sat 16th Dec 2017 21:15
Hi Rose, thank you for your comment. I don’t think you’ve got my intentions wrong, just a slightly different angle. On reading the poem again I can see your view and think the word rebuild would go well, as I value your input
What do you think ?
All the best des
<Deleted User> (9882)
Sat 16th Dec 2017 16:31
really like this poem Desmond. May I ask if adding the word -repair-would help? as in
'To (repair) the glory
of dead men's insurrections'
or have I got your intention wrong?
Rose ?
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<Deleted User> (9882)
Sun 17th Dec 2017 14:06
Desmond I think in all fairness to you that if the word I have suggested is acceptable to you then perhaps you should dive into your thesaurus
and find a word with the same meaning and is of your choosing
that way the poem remains owned by you and not partly by me despite how small my inclusion would be if you get my drift?
Rose ?