Salford soil is singed

As sunbeams surge from the sky

I cannot pass up this opportunity

To flash my moobs and sit outside

In tranquil tropical temperatures

In peace I begin to think

But the extent of my deliberation is

What can I have to drink?

I open up the fridge

Somerset scrumpy on the shelf

A little limited luxury

I lavish upon myself

No need for ice or bubbles

I won’t bother with a glass

Swig straight from the bottle

After all- I’m working class

Dust off my gingham blanket

Place it upon the lawn

Silent without the missus

And the destruction of my spawn

My Zen is cruelly shattered

By a belligerent bounding buzz

It feels like I’m surrounded

But it’s coming from the shrubs

Indignant yet intrigued

I decide to inspect

Find a black and amber creature

Not quite as you’d expect

A thorax and sting, and two pairs of wings

Like other flying insects

But this chaps unique as he could speak

So I treat him with respect

 

‘Behold I am a Bumblebee

The whole world is my hands

The insect of industry

I’m central to all your plans

Be amazed at my powers

My prowess, my will to breed

None of your plants and flowers

Can survive without my seed

I’m an honorary Mancunian

Who descends from a hive

Immortalised on a Boddies can

I can lead to your demise

Now without wanting to elaborate

And be careful of my sting

Stand aside whilst I pollinate

Watch me do my thing’

He floats upon the breeze

His voice has me entranced

He weaves through petals and leaves

I follow his merry dance

His path seems unfocused

He darts from side to side

Takes a fancy to crocus

And begins his lustful dive

Mesmerizingly serene

He’s a zoomer, he’s a glider

Until I hit him with a magazine

Well… I can’t risk him near my cider

Stunned in singed Salford soil

I say a prayer for this Bumblebee

Stamp my shoe on his head

Put him out of his misery