I won a brand new jig saw in a raffle at a “do”;

I couldn’t wait to use it to see what it could do.

Then came the opportunity – we laid a hardwood floor

With planks to fit round obstacles – a chance to use my saw.

I made some silly errors but of a minor sort;

I gave myself 9 out of 10 to cut the story short.

But when the floor was finished it’s then that Our Gert saw

A threshold I had fitted caught the bottom of the door.

“Vroom, vroom”, I thought as would us men, so to the shed I flew

My jig saw gets its chance again to show what it can do.

“Vroom, vroom” my jigsaw answered back until Our Gert shouts, “STOP!”

“You stupid twat you’ve only cut a half inch off the top!”