You die happy or you find misery
There's nothing in between
But a gray haze that we called boredom
So confused it for depression everyone does
But lately I feel like there's no time left

So let me use proper nouns 
To let you know how I feel
Because fairness is just a delusion 
In your head that you think that you deserve

I was born in this world to die
So hate me judge me I don't care anymore
Firefly I'm sorry I love you 
But you picked a better life over me 
I can't blame you for that

I'm done with my achy bones and I'm done 
With my heart trying when it's not getting anywhere
I'm a funeral away from being loved
Trust me I know I don't have it bad
But my mind has convinced that I have it the other way

Want do I have to do 
Before someone hears me 
I'm fucking sick and I need help 
I can't do all this heartache anymore
You don't stay up until 5 AM crying

I was born in this world to die
So hate me judge me I don't care anymore
Firefly I'm sorry I love you 
But you picked a better life over me 
I can't blame you for that

Don't get me wrong 
I have good days 
But there far and few nowadays
All my older cousins have families and babies now
Thinking to myself I only have 3 years
These promise is over and I don't have to live