lately

I have been driving more than usual

though I’ve been

immobile

for the majority of the time

in jams

and annoying red lights

and

the green lights only allow two vehicles

through at a time

resulting

in irritation, annoyance and ultimately

boredom!

 

just after spying the tunnel’s distant light

and

being lulled into false vehicular liberation...

frustration!

he didn’t notice the lights change

and

slammed into the woman in front...

thankfully

no-one was hurt

apart from the dent in his car’s pride

 

subsequently

I was obliged to take an alternative route

along

with a few hundred other drivers

which

intensified the dilemma

 

frustrated

by the fact that slugs were now hurriedly

overtaking

my boredom necessitated digression    

but

the radio rapidly proved quite irritating

prompting

some enhanced or entertaining deviation... 

billboards!

yet the hype of an impending new film

only

magnified my delusion...

I’d read the book

and

knew it would be misinformed and

hollywood-ized

 

soon

I found myself counting potholes

not just that day

but for several subsequent days

and

in total

I counted 861

over approximately a twelfth of the borough

which suggested a total of 10,332 holes

 

subsequently

I averaged the size of a hole

at 0.025 of a cubic metre

and

calculated the total volume of all the holes

in the Borough of Wigan

which was

258.3

cubic metres

and realised it would fill

just under 3 percent of the volume

of

the Albert Hall

 

in contrast

the 4000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire

reported by

Lennon and McCartney

would

only have filled just over 1 percent

 

to actually

fill

the whole of the Albert Hall

it would take 3,480,000 holes

assuming

that they are calculated at 0.025 of a cubic meter

each

 

I hope

the Council does something very soon....

about the traffic problem!