I decided to drink again
now all I can think about is her
to tell the truth I'll probably regret all the decisions I made
but I'm at my wit's end
and I'm trying to hold the tears back the best I can
this world feels like I don't have a home anymore
and that I'm all alone
I haven't heard from her since the 7th I'm worried
I'm a goddamn mess
I can say all the random stuff I want
and make everyone laugh
but the truth is I'm a sad clown
does anyone really win against their depression
because everyone I looked up to 
their depression left him in a body bags
so when I say this world doesn't make me feel happy
like I feel happiness once
I think I'm rooting for her not to come back
not because I don't love her
 I love her more than anything in the world
but for that way I can end this pain
 and I don't have to fill it ever again
words from a drunk man that I'll regret tomorrow
I'll never regret that I waiting on her and love her with all of my heart