Stygian water is filling over the sides of the tub,

Bathing me in nothing but blackness

For so long, it is no trouble to feel my way

Through darkness, wetness soaking my cheeks

Like an unmovable stain,

    cannot feel

The sun rays, memories

playing on blades of glass beneath my feet.

I know nothing anymore,

Not of you, not of joy

Not of anything,

anywhere to chase,

I have dried up skin around my waist,

Burnt like lighter to the soul,

No longer in

anywhere, anymore, too numb

to feel those stings again,

For I am nothing but burning rocks

Walking into fire,

      wishing,

Those boiling drops would bother me,

If you only knew the pain,  

Some shortlived slaps of noxious steam are nothing

Nothing to what’s inside me.

Is it trying to get out?

Or so desperately afraid, it claws into the steepness

to place the suffering deeper,

Hollowing me out to home the enemy, so

I feel old,

Cold,

An unused piece of sold fabric from the market,

Discard me.

I am not worth it, I hurt so much

can barely breathe now.

I want the darkness

To swallow me up,

Not whole for I have been nothing

But fragments since I can remember.

Just let me go

Go

Go

Please, I cannot remember

What it is like to be happy.

im too old to feel this pain

i can't let it go again,

i'm too old to feel this pain

you're so right to feel disdain. 

i'll never stem the pain

this water will not drain