I cannot remember how it feels like not to feel but I can paint a picture, I can see it and I can sense it. If I had to paint a picture this is how it would look like: You are stuck on a mountain, no cellphone reception, alone and with no voice. Just shapeless dark figures wobbling around with no direction. You are trapped with your inner voice who somehow feels louder and menacing. Your inner voice departs for short breaks but comes back ripping apart your skin letting every other thought run loose.

I never want to be numb again, I want to feel it all, embrace the pain, anger and joy. Letting each go when it is finally time, rather than not feeling. Bouncing in a colourless world and never being able to see past dullness.