I lay here and I still lay here as the hours tick by and I watch the woman I love separated from me by such a minor distance of just a couple feet... It couldn't feel farther away... My heart aches from the pain I've caused her... My soul is ripped in two fighting on the right choice.. I love her.. she loves me... I know this.. why do I push the people who love me away? Why was I cursed with such hatred of myself that I can't even realize when I've got something so amazing.... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I can't sleep I can't eat and I still lay here wishing I could reach out and touch her beg her for forgiveness but terrified at the chance of rejection... I don't know what I would do... I can't live without her... Nor do I see a future without her by my side......Not yet My wife...or The mother of my children... but still my other half and the only thing I even feel the need to breathe for... I say I don't need her and believe it at the time but when things get real and serious distance is put between us I'm worthless to this world with nothing to live for... God help me please fix this... I love her please give me an answer.... I'm begging you she's my person... And you gave her to me... Don't take her away please...