I'm so sorry,

I love you so so much,

I think about you all the time,

I miss your smile,

I miss your jokes,

I miss your hugs,

I miss so much more about you than I could possibly write,

I know I messed up so many times,

I know I'm to blame,

I ask myself why your face haunts me at night,

But I know why,

I replay our memories together a lot,

When I see something that reminds me of you it's hard not to cry,

I never deserved you and still you showed me nothing but love,

Except I realized far to late and hurt you over and over,

If I could go back I would,

I often think about how I would stop myself from making those horrible decisions,

You only showed me love and I ruined it,

I know I don't deserve your forgiveness,

I would run a thousand miles just to see you smile,

I should have cherished you in so many ways,

I was to blinded by my self-loathing to see the pain I was causing,

I love you so much,

I wish I could go back,

But I can't,

I know it's my fault that I lost you,

I never realized how much pain this was and is,

I wonder if this is what you were feeling,

God I can only hope not,

I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you,

You never deserved any of it,

I'm sorry,

And I love you.

-Cardinal Hope