Dear Truly Beloved Customer Care

I have a small problem with one of your wares

I’m not after a new one or a replacement spare

Just wondered if this one is not beyond repair

In Ninety-One you gave me this heart

Which really was awfully sweet

I wasn’t too smart, broke it apart

How I’ve tried to make it complete

Yet now I fear, after 23 years, it appears

I have cocked up its beat

I’ve looked everywhere, pulled out my hair

But I still cannot find the receipt

You said at the time, it truly was mine and gave a lifelong guarantee

You’re not yet Sixty-Five, assumed still alive. So, is your gift still within warranty?

 

Dear dearly beloved, dear, dear what a mess

These things are designed for a gentle caress

They’re not shock resistant, they can’t stand the stress

Let me see……

Sixty-Six was its year of mintage

By all accounts a superlative vintage

A little worn, slightly torn, suffered some shrinkage

I won’t even ask about all this dintage.

Rugby ……. maybe?

 

 

 

Dear Truly Beloved Customer Care

I’m bursting with regret and full of despair

The whisper is, I was careless and feckless

By no means reckless, I wore your heart on a necklace

But I was young with a busy, bothered mind

I never meant to hurt you, never meant to be unkind

If it’s any consolation, I can honestly say

I’ve regretted every day, since I cast you away

And I really wouldn’t blame you given the circumstance

If you told me flat out there is no second chance ☹

 

Dear dearly beloved

The News is not great

Whilst it’s well within its expiry date

The item in question is quite delicate

We see this a lot when they’re past forty-eight

The beat is ectopic due to poor modulation

The flutters bought on by V. Fibrillation

Recommend that you limit stressful situations

Ration excitation, flirtation and titillation

Whilst there is a healthy supply of blood

One sure fire thing must be understood

If treaty unkindly, it most certainly would

Asystole flat line and be broken for good.

  

The love within is still burning brightly

But it’s no longer exclusively yours

Though you may claim to be its Aphrodite

There are others that this heart adores

So dearly beloved, I hope quite sincerely

I’ve managed to answer your medical query

And as for a second bite of the cherry

You needn’t ask its unnecessary

Like the earth below you and the stars above you

Its beat is solid and bright and this heart still loves you.