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Fates do fall as rain

The chick does fledge in aspiration

full of hope and expectation 

but fate derides its innocence 

cuts short its life with ambivalence 

from nest to grave it briefly flies

never too adorn azure bright skies

and how the fates do fall as rain

upon our lives to ordain

those of whom will adorn no sky

those of whom in azure bright will fly

🌷(5)

◄ Embryo

Arid ►

Comments

DESMOND CHILDS

Tue 16th Jul 2019 06:31

Thank you John for your input much appreciated, and I can see your point. Will take them onboard when I’m feeling a bit more poetic. Thank Damon, Astrid and Liza for the likes.


All the best des

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john short

Mon 15th Jul 2019 09:56

Desmond, a philosophical poetic observation on Life with a clear and simple message. Nice work. Tentatively suggest / upon our lives then to ordain/ just to help the rhythm, and re-work the last line. I can't stress enough this is only a suggestion and you may disagree. I think it's more useful to offer constructive criticism than just say nice things all the time. The poem's great - these observations are just about the rhythm.

DESMOND CHILDS

Tue 11th Jun 2019 06:02

Thank you Jane for your comments, much appreciated. Thank you for the like afishamongmany.


All the best des

<Deleted User> (21818)

Tue 11th Jun 2019 04:48

A wonderful poem...I especially like the lines "and how the fates do fall as rain, upon our lives to ordain" ?

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