Eve's lament
Slippery eel, slippery eel
no one knows how you make me feel.
Look forward to grasping your coils all day,
you hiss, you smile, you slide away.
Poisonous snake, poisonous snake
you don’t know the risks I take.
Give my heart, you swallow it whole,
just a lump in your throat, and that’s your goal.
Greasy worm, greasy worm
knowing all night I twist and turn.
Needing to be caught in your coils so tight,
slipping and sliding all through the night.
Slug of lust, slug of lust
leaving your trail in my dry dust.
When I’m gone, you’ll be sorry then.
Slippery, slithery, wriggly men!
photo carinemilly
winston plowes
Wed 3rd Mar 2010 09:56
Hi Ann.
You know when you get an idea for a theme and structure of a poem and it really works, well you have that here Ann. 1)The serpent theme. 2) The repetition in the first line 3)The undercurrent of sex?! 4) The punch line. I would be proud of this. If there is an improvement it may be in the 3rd and 4th lines of the first 3 stanzas which you might want to tweak. Nice Win :-)