and I wonder if there's someone else that you wish was giving you the attention that I am

and I wonder if you are giving someone else the attention that I wish you would give me

and I wonder why this imbalance follows me

chases me

always always nipping at my heels

and yet somehow manages to also remain

two steps ahead of me

this imbalance of desire

of devotion

of dependence

of desperation

it consumes me

it distracts me

and ultimately

it trips me

tugs at my sleeve

pokes at my brain

tears at my heart

and it leaves me 

asking always

begging always

searching always

                               for the answer