(Long Form Haiku)
Her soft crimson lips,
Mesmerise my waking eyes,
And speak in my dreams.
Her warm syrup voice,
Oozes over me like oil,
And sooths my desire.
Her hot gentle breath,
Touches me from head to toe,
And breaks my sad heart.
It whispers to me,
And says, "Goodnight my sweetheart,"
And I am alone.
I lay here alone,
And she has gone forever,
Hiding in my dreams.
<Deleted User> (22247)
Sun 7th Jul 2019 03:33
"Oozes over me like oil" goes to eight syllables...unless you adopt a deep-South accent, "all."
I've never dared this form myself. It's challenging. Well done.
Jason, I keep saying there's not enough humour on the site. I keep adding my bit where I can ?
Don't worry Don, I'm more than happy with a bit of humour, let's be honest there's not enough of it in the world anyway.?
Oh, and thank you, glad you liked it.
Also wanted to say thanks to all those that liked it's very much appreciated.
J. x
Jason, you're haiku t'was working
Me up to a sorta hot end
Her syrupy voice oozing o'er you?
While her crimson lips did, yes, descend?
What is a poor guy gonna think of
When led up this sexy-like path?
You shattered my working up visions
'Twas a dream, a let-down aftermath
Jason. You'll have to forgive my mind. It sometimes gets out of control. Just told it your poem is serious and behave. It just laughed at me. I'm cursed.....? Seriously. I liked it.
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Jason Bayliss
Sun 7th Jul 2019 18:37
Yes, also though in my accent, "Oil," is just one syllable.
You should give it a go Mindy, I put it off for ages and actually, when I did do it, I really enjoyed it.
J. x