Whilst investigating the death of a local wrestler, a gentle author called Stacy Kim uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, crumpled map circulating throughout Cornwall. As soon as anyone uses the map, he or she has exactly 296 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look grey. A marked person feels like a wide gerbil to touch.

Stacy gets hold of the map, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a creepy horse balancing on a wicked wrestler, an old newspaper headline about a biking accident, a hooded aardvark ranting about abs and a drinking well located in a wild place.

When Stacy notices her ankles have gerbil-like properties, she realises that the curse of the crumpled map is true and calls in her lovers, a navigator called Philly Woo, to help.

Philly examines the map and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the creepy horse balancing on a wicked wrestler particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Stacy and Philly pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded aardvark. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?