Over a decade has passed, yet at times it feels as if it has hardly been a day

My body follows the passage of time while a piece of my mind remains frozen in that moment

The scars have faded, yet I still see them shine as bright as the day he carved the reminder upon my flesh

Written in a language only my eyes could distinguish

A lifetime has been lived, yet I still return to that little girl

Clawing to recover everything that was stolen from me

 

Shielded behind a mask no one cares to look past

Preferring the safety isolation promises

Fearing eyes that linger

Trapped in the paradox of being desperate to be recognized while terrified of being noticed

Curling in upon myself wishing I would continue to fade away

Every breath in my lungs begging for me to call out, forever to be denied its freedom

 

Triple checking the deadbolts every time I walk through my door

Willfully locking myself away in a prison of my own making hoping to find a moment of peace

Even sleep denies me of my reprieve, taunting me with the memories I long to escape

Jumping at the slightest bump in the night

Fighting the urge to run at each inconsequential touch

Flinching as if they were a venomous snake

 

I have struggled to remove myself from what once was

Burning to the ground the person I believed to be me and rising anew

With the eyes and soul of a person far surpassing the rest of me

I refuse to let anyone see the tears trapped behind them

A smile worn like armor, defying the past from consuming me

Never again will someone take from me that which I am unwilling to give