Emotions- part 1

The angry stages, the sad moments, nothing really makes sense in my head.

Irrational thoughts, why him? Why us?

The empty feeling, the depth of despair.

A spiralling, swirling, pit of grief.

Sometimes, it feels as if everything has stopped; other times I feel like I can’t catch my breath.

Why do others get to carry on with their lives, unaffected?

Our worlds have fallen, crumbled in an instant, but around us life is still going.

They tell me to be strong, to move forwards and carry on.

But how can I do that when he is not here?

No more milestones will he witness. No more good news he will hear.

We weren’t ready to say goodbye.

Why did you take him from us, when we still need him so much?

 

Emotions- part 2

Today is a good day, a calm day, a rational day.

Today I can see why he had to leave. I can understand that he was in pain.

It still hurts, but now I see that I must put his needs before mine.

These days are sporadic; I can’t predict when the next one will come, nor can I predict if I will feel the same way, even when it does.

I can feel at peace knowing that I helped him right up until the end.

I could still make him laugh, like he could for me.

He took so much pleasure from all of us. We were his greatest achievements.

Today I can look at the pictures and relish in the memories that flood back.

I feel proud thinking about what an incredible man he was.

I will strive to be like him- optimistic, positive, bright and cheerful.

He was ours and no one elses.

We were the lucky ones.