If I were a honey bee

   And someone stole my honey,

I'd wait until they got undressed

   Then sting them where it's funny.

 

If I were a zebra

   A zebra with a zed,

And someone said it with a zee

  I'd kick them in the head.

 

If I were an emu

   I'd teach myself to fly,

Then go and mock the ostriches

   From fifty foot up high.

 

If I were a viper

   And saw you try to pass,

I'd stand up straight on the tip of my tail

   And bite you on the ass.