what used to hurt me

still does

what used to scare me

still does

what used to make me curl up on the floor

shaking to my very core

still does

 

I am constantly afraid that one day

I will come face to face with my mistakes

a tableau of painful regrets and aches

the times I said I couldn’t when I could

the times I said I wouldn’t when I would

 

the past still haunts me

the tangled webs of history

 

but

 

I am not my past

I am my present

I am not my past

I am my future

I am not my past

I am my happiness

 

I am my hope

I am my life.