Everyone has their way to vent.

Let things go.

Dim the darkness inside.

Let the mind go.

 

When I was in pain I smoked till my vision was blurry.

Don't worry.

I'm only trying to get god in a hurry.

 

I would smoke till my eyes bleed red.

Lay onto my pillow with twisted fantasies of being dead.

Laying in a coffin, having wreaths of my name.

Mind racing wildly, driving along in different lanes.

 

When you feel pain you do stuff you normally wont.

But the painful reality of life is though.

Do you have a soul to confide in, when you need it the most?

 

Do you really have someone right besides you, who will share your pain.

Is there someone there unconditionaly with you, so the pain fades away?

 

You don't. Even your own shadow leaves you in darkness.

So that is far from the truth.

People will only come to live and breathe with you, aslong and you're doing good.

 

The minute they sense weakness in you, they drift away from you.

Till their memories are like poison in your blood stream.

So things are never the same for you.

 

You sometimes wish they never existed.

There ain't no perfect moments, like you would see in some pictures.

 

I used to smoke weed and hit the bottles like I'm trying to catch my breath.

Having visions of me in my final moments, before my eyes finally rest.

Having thoughts about the moment when my heart stops.

But no one can express a mothers pain, when her son drops.

 

I've had my fair share of pain through the course of 26 years of existence.

Like I have nothing left to give.

How could one soul handle all this pressure and pain.

One day the soul has the give.

 

The soul has to crack to be blown apart.

Then and only then will the soul drift to the sky above.

Once the heart beat stops.

 

Pain is a terrible thing to keep within you.

Fortunately, I've had certain things happen,

That brought life back in me.

An angel with broken wings, found me broken.

And fixed me.

Whole again.

But how much time do I have, before I lose this blessing.

So i have to be strong and carry myself on my own.

Home is where the heart is,

I'm shining brighter then ever now, I'm finally home.

 

I once saw a quote:

"My heart is so small it's almost invisible. How can you place such big sorrows In it?"

But I heard a voice.

"Your eyes are even smaller yet they behold the world" 

 

I remind myself of this each and every day.

To see the beauty I have in my life.

Play your cards right, and take your heart with you.

But also take your mind, to stabilise and carry you.

 

Pain is a horrible thing.

It can destroy nations in a flash.

No force can overcome pain.

You can only do that yourself....