As much as I was attracted to you

I felt your repulsion of me

As much as I had admired you

I felt your loathing for me

As much as I opened myself up to you

I felt you close yourself off to me

As much as I wanted only you

I felt your uncertainty

As much as I remained chaste to you

I dreamt of your infidelities

As much as I loved you

I felt your hatred for me

As much as I let you

Destroy little pieces of me

As much as I know now 

I was just an end to your means