What is this empty feeling again inside me? 

Ahh...it's you again. 

Yes, you come to mind from time to time. 

At that time in the past...I could swore I don't but...

now every new thought makes me doubt. 

Is it possible I really loved you? 

Naaaah but I knew this could never work.

The past me is more clever than present me. 

Or not. 

I wish I could skip these 10 years. 

I wish to know some things already and maybe...

this wouldn't be happening. 

You are kind of close, yet a whole life away...

from the moment I fucked up.

The worst part is...I knew this life. Your life.

And I loved it. 

And I didn't even fucking realize! 

I wanted to know it more but...

you fucked up...

because you didn't ask, you didn't stay. 

A year will soon go by. 

Is it possible I still love you? 

I definatelly still miss you. 

I keep looking for the signs of...

something from you. 

Something stronger than one like on social media.

Or a fake smile...

because you don't want it to be awkward.  

But every day through pain...

common sense is telling me, 

that I should just forget it cause...

You don't care. 

 

So the odds are not in my favour, 

what a surprise. 

I want to say you something in person. 

The chances for that are low. 

So I might just as well say it here. 

It doesn't matter anymore. 

I am sorry.